There Is Nothing
by xiiao
Summary: 'I fell in love with him. It was because he was the only one who cared for me through all those times my parents hit and yelled at me.' -- Alteration to why Meiling loves Syaoran. Deals with abuse. [ Should I change rating? ]


There Is Nothing  
By: Xiao  
  
A/N ;  
In this fiction, you are going to have to throw away all knowledge that you may know about Meiling and Syaoran's past, and keep it gone as you read. During this, I made a completely different reason to why Meiling loves Syaoran.. And it's not because she was arranged to marry him, in fact, the arrangement never happened in this story, I used it as a lie by Meiling to use.  
  
READ WHAT I JUST WROTE ABOVE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!!  
  
---  
  
As she cried, her face rested in her hands, her legs tucked slightly behind her, her elbows placed neatly on her knees. The swing in which she had placed herself slowly rocked back in forth, as if she was crying to comfort herself without the help of anyone else, and without the help of words.  
  
Everyone saw. Everyone ignored. Everyone knew, and everyone didn't care. Everyone glanced, and everyone didn't do a thing. Everyone didn't help. Everyone just walked on, and everyone didn't take a second glance. Everyone didn't take a second thought, either. Everyone had better things to do, and everyone had no time to spare. Everyone just passed her by and everyone didn't do a thing -- except her.  
  
"Meiling?" There was a sudden stop from the girl on the sidewalk, chestnut hair quietly swaying with the wind as she stared at her. Meiling took a glance through her fingers, and shook her head, as her whole body trembled lightly. This wasn't what she wanted. This wasn't what she needed. She didn't need her to help her through this. "What's wrong?" Sakura asked, as she walked over to Meiling, and took a seat on the swing next to her.  
  
"Nothing." Meiling muttered through sobs and sniffles. Sakura blinked, and gripped her hands against the cold chains of the swing, leaning forward to look at Meiling.  
  
"What's wrong?" She repeated, expecting a truthful answer. This was a quality of Sakura, always willing to help and always going to help no matter what they said. She would stop at nothing to make someone happy, no matter what the consequence was. "Please, Meiling, you know you can trust me."  
  
Thoughts flooded her mind. What was she supposed to tell her? Something that would be believable, of course. There was a long moment of tensed silence as Meiling thought. Engagement, she came up with. Wasn't that something to happen in Hong Kong; parents arranging their child's marriage partner? She had never experienced it herself, considering her parents didn't find Meiling to be worthy of anyone. Despite this, she stated it calmly. "He broke our engagement, Sakura."  
  
Sakura leaned back, and thought to herself. She knew that Syaoran had admitted that he loved her, and that he only loved Meiling as family, but the idea that they were engaged? The group had known each other since they were preteens, and they were now seventeen. They would of told her if they were engaged, wouldn't they? Of course they would of. "Meiling," she said softly. "Please, tell me the truth. What happened? I can try and help you out. Please, just trust me this one time."  
  
Meiling whipped her eyes, and rubbed them lightly in hopes of ridding herself of the redness. 'You're out of ideas, Mei, now what can you tell her?' She thought to herself. 'The truth is your last option.' With this, she sat up and looked over at Sakura. Her eyes were red from crying, and her skin was now deathly pale, and stained with tears, it looked like. "Okay." Meiling said quietly, and winced, realizing what a journey she was going to put herself through now.  
  
"The Li Clan is known for it's high power in magic, as you know. Syaoran Li is supposed to supposed to be the next leader of the clan, considering he being the only male worthy of the title. I was supposed to be the female leader, to stand by him as life continued and the current passed away. This was planned between my parents and his, because no other couple planned on having children. When I was born, it was shown that I had no magic whatsoever. I am the first in the Li family to be born without magic. Without magic, I was said to bring shame to the family." She sighed, her fingers gripping tightly on the chains of her swing, and her eyes staring steadily at the ground beneath her.  
  
"My parents hated me for this. They didn't think it was their fault that my mother gave birth to a baby without magic, but that it was my fault, and that I had brought this upon myself." She squinted her eyes shut as a tear fell. "They hated me. I don't understand why they didn't have me killed, but they never told me they loved me and they never acted as they did.  
  
"Sakura," she said, through muffled sobs again. "They hit me and yelled at me. If I did a little thing such as knocking a drink over on accident, they screamed and slapped me. They claimed that I had brought this on myself. Of course, I never understood, and I still don't. The idea of an unborn baby able to make herself lack magic.. Isn't that impossible?" She said, her own tears drenching her face again as she looked at Sakura, who was watching and hanging on her every word. Sakura nodded lightly, and opened her mouth to speak. "It's not impossible in the Li Clan. My mother told me that I had made it happen, and that if I was smart I would of let the blood flow, blood that held magic, flow through me." Sakura shut her mouth as Meiling continued her story.  
  
"When I was six years old, I had owned a bird. I don't know why they gave me her, but they did. I took care of it, and always loved it. It was something that I treasured, and I named it Hope. The last time I saw her, I was opening the cage to feed her and she escaped. I was devastated and sat on my porch and cried for hours, with the cage empty. My mother had saw me and broke into a fit of screaming."  
  
---Flashback.---  
  
Meiling sat, her hands bunched up and playing on her lap. Her small figure was dressed in a burgundy dress, with long sleeves, which were now damp from her whipping her eyes with it, and using it was a tissue. "Meiling!" She had heard her mother calling, and slowly she turned around to look at the doorway, and there stood her mother, emotionless. "What are you doing?" Her eyes hadn't caught the empty bird's cage yet.  
  
"Nothing, mama." Meiling said, quietly, and whipped her eyes from tears again. There was a moment of silence as her mother stared at her, her own eyes emotionless boring into Meiling's ruby red ones. Meiling stared back, as if waiting for her to notice the cage, and preparing herself for what her mother's reaction would be. Slowly, Meiling's eyes drew away from her mothers and stared at the cage, by accident. A moment later, her mother stared at the empty cage. "I'm sorry, mama." Meiling said quietly, now dreading what was to come upon her next.  
  
"Sorry?!" Her mother screeched, and grabbed Meiling's wrist and jerking her to her feet. Meiling winced and yelped in pain, but stood at her feet and locked her frightful eyes upon her mother's emotionless glare. "You're not sorry, Meiling! You did this on purpose, didn't you?! Stupid girl! Your father and I wanted to make you happy, but you went and ruined it! You're so stupid and ungrateful for what him and I do for you! You're not cut out of being in this family, and it's your fault, Meiling!" With this said, the mother swiftly slapped the girl. The sound of skin to skin erupted loudly, and caused an awkward silence to engulf the area. Meiling's cheek began to imprint in a bright red hand print, and her she began to swell with tears before exploding and crying out in pain and fear. She cowered, and trembled as her mother still gripped her wrist and pointed a finger at the girl. "Don't you ever do anything like that again, Meiling Li, you stupid, stupid girl! Do you understand what I am telling you?! Are you listening to me, Meiling?! Don't you dare do anything like that again!" With a jerk, the mother pulled her hand from the daughter's wrist and she moved back to her house, as to report the incident to Meiling's father.  
  
Everyone saw. Everyone ignored. Everyone knew, and everyone didn't bother. Everyone glanced, and everyone didn't do a thing. Everyone didn't help. Everyone just walked on, and everyone didn't take a second glance. Everyone didn't take a second thought, either. Everyone had better things to do, and everyone had no time to spare. Everyone just passed her by and everyone didn't do a thing -- except him.  
  
---End Flashback.---  
  
"I met Syaoran after that. I think it's a good thing that my mother hit me and screamed at me while we were outside, either that or Syaoran wouldn't of seen what had happened. He was outside, doing who knows what, and had heard me cry and my mother screaming. He had heard the slap my mother had thrown at me, and after she had left, I ran off crying, with my hands against my face and blindly ran into him. He caught me, and I just stared at him. I didn't know him, but he knew me, of course. Who wouldn't know me?" She took a side glance at Sakura, and shook her head lightly, as if dreading her next sentence. With a sigh, she looked down and brought her voice low. "The one person in the family to possess no magic. Of course he knew me.  
  
"But, anyway, I didn't know what else to do, so I just leaned on him and cried, while he just stood there, his arms around me. I don't even know why he bothered, I guess it's because he was a child and didn't understand why it was okay for someone to hit me because I didn't have magic. I haven't ever asked him, but from that moment on I became very close to him. My mother and father hit me a lot and every time I would go to him for comfort, and he would help me through it." Sakura smiled.  
  
"When we were teenagers everyone began to get more physical. My mother no longer called me stupid, and no longer just slapped me. I remember one time she told me I was worthless and that I didn't deserve to even be able to live. She slapped me so hard that day that part of my cheek bled. This was because she found out that I was talking behind her back to Syaoran, about how horrible she and my father were. Syaoran never told her, and in fact he had never told anyone about me and him, but one of the other adults had overheard my cries and rants. My father was very angry, and shoved me against the wall and held me there while he screamed at me. I didn't understand what he saying, because everything came at me so quickly, but those where the last things I ever heard from him. He refused to talk to me ever since that day because I talked bad about my parents." She shook her head frantically and covered her face with her hands as she sobbed. Sakura pressed her hand against her back and patted her quickly as Meiling cried.  
  
"What ever happened to Syaoran and you?" She finally asked, after a moment or two.  
  
"He was in Tomoeda when it happened. I swore to my parents I hated them and never was coming back. I left and came here to be with Syaoran." She said, and sighed. "I learned to live with it. I believed that since I was with the one that seemed to care, then my life was going to be better. I also believed that my leaving was a time to show that my parents hadn't broken me down. I told myself, here is your time to shine, Meiling, here is your time to show how strong you really are." She smiled lightly, as she thought of herself when she first came. This caused the same affect on Sakura, thus she smiled as well.  
  
"I think magic isn't important." She stated, clearly, as she looked at Sakura. Her ruby eyes locked with her emerald ones. "Maybe it's because I don't have any. I think it's the person that's important. Magic is an accessory, I think." She looked back down at her feet, and continued to use them to sway her swing back and forth, gently. Her tears were slowly coming down, but silently this time.  
  
"I fell in love with him." She finally said, calmly. Sakura blinked, and stared at the girl. Meiling dug the toes of her shoes into the sand, her eyes locked on them. "It was because he was the only one who cared for me throughout all those times my parents hit and yelled at me. I didn't want to let him go, knowing this was the only person who cared, and would be the only person who cared, so I tried to make sure no one ever took him away. I failed." She took in a deep breath, and shook her head uneasily as she looked at Sakura and sniffed lightly, her eyes darting from Sakura's to everywhere else. A moment of this continued before she stared at her, trying to keep her voice steady as tears began to stream faster. "Because he fell for you."  
  
"Meiling--" Sakura started to say that she was sorry that she had caused this, but Meiling quickly interrupted her and made sure she kept silent during her talking.  
  
"No. No, Sakura. Don't you say a thing." She emphasized the last word very clearly and looked away. "It is my fault. My parents were right. If I had magic, maybe I could of made him love me. It's my fault I don't. I made it happen, Sakura. This isn't your fault, it's mine!" She looked away, her hands gripping tighter on the chains, so that her hands were shaking.  
  
"I have nothing now. Syaoran has left me for you. Without him there is nothing left. Without him no one will care about me. No one will pay attention to me. No one will ever help me through things, and no one is going to do a thing for me. Everyone is just going to pass me by and never do anything. All because Syaoran is gone, and because when he is gone there is nothing left for me." She said, fast, and stood and ran off, sobbing. Sakura just sat in her swing and stared at the girl ran away. She couldn't do a thing, anymore. No matter how much she wanted to help Meiling, she wasn't going to be able to. Meiling had brought herself to believe that there is nothing without Syaoran, and she wasn't going to be able to change that.  
  
"You stupid, stupid girl." Meiling said quietly, as she ran out of breath and could no longer run the rest of the way to her house. She whipped her eyes, and ran her hand over her cheek where her mother would usually hit her and sniffled, as if she was feeling the pain all over. "You're so worthless, and you don't deserve to be in this world. Don't you ever do that again, Meiling. No one needs to know about how horrible you are and why your parents hit you and why the yelled at you and why they called you everything they--" she slammed right into Syaoran.  
  
"Meiling?" He questioned, as he realized that Meiling was crying and she was pale, trembling, and cold. Without even thinking, he had put his arms around her as she sobbed.  
  
"Oh god, Syaoran…" Her voice trailed, as she leaned against him as she used to do when she was just a child. He could feel her trembling and quietly held her for a confused moment and let her cry. He had then remembered that Sakura had called and told him about the situation with Meiling, and looked at her. 'She said that because you are gone there is going to be nothing left for her. She said that no one is going to care for her, because you fell for me and not her.' He repeated the words that Sakura had told her over and over in his mind.  
  
"I'm sorry." He said, quietly. Meiling cried, still, but more quietly. "Listen to me, Meiling, though." She took a glance up at him for a moment, and waited for him to continue. "I do love you, and I do care for you and I'm not gone. I'm still here for you when you need someone." She stared at him, her eyes still red, and for a long moment she waited for him to continue. "People care, and even if your parents didn't, there are others. Sakura was worried when you ran off. She cares for you, and how you feel. All the friends you've made here in Tomoeda do care." He paused. "Just look around and you'll see." He hugged her tightly, and she nodded lightly.  
  
"But what is a life without parents who love you?" She whispered. Syaoran stopped breathing for a moment and ran that question over in his head, and hesitated as he found an answer. For a minute, which seemed like an hour, the only sound that could be heard was Meiling sniffling quietly.  
  
"You don't need to worry about it, Meiling. All that matters is that there are people here for you, and that love you. You have family that don't care if you don't have magic, and will still be here when you need them." As she nodded, she waited for his grip to loosen around her, and then returned his embrace, with a slight smile on her face.  
  
And everyone saw. Everyone ignored. Everyone knew, and everyone didn't care. Everyone glanced, and everyone didn't do a thing. Everyone just walked on, and everyone didn't take a second glance back at them. Everyone didn't even take a second thought, either. Everyone had better things to do, and everyone had no time to spare. Everyone just passed her and him by and everyone didn't do a thing… And for the first time in her life, it didn't bother her what so ever. It wouldn't ever bother her, either, ever again. 


End file.
